This is a well written Mini Novel of a scenario that is unique and uncommon. I received it completely anonymous. It remains un-edited or compromised of its stark truth, as it begs to the very nature of Out of the Shadows. I encourage you to read it with somewhat of an open mind.
I believe this follows the line of conversation in comments recently.
Maxxi and Memories of John
I want to tell this story of my first sexual experiences and my first ever love.
I was 9 years old and my mom’s new boyfriend John had just moved in with us, I had never known my real father as he had left us not long after I was born. John was always nice to me and my mom; he would often bring flowers home to my mom and a surprise for me in the form of a chocolate bar or a small toy. He made us very happy and I liked him a lot. John always liked playing with me and he never said he was too busy to spend time with me or have some fun with me.
John used to work during the day and my mom worked from 6:00pm till late cleaning offices. It was great from that time it would just be us two! He would make me my dinner, help me with my homework, and make sure I had a shower and that I had fresh clean clothes for the next day. Then we would watch whatever I wanted on TV, we would eat some desert then he would tuck me into bed.
One night when he was tucking me in he told me he loved me more than anything else in the world and he reached down and kissed me. I just felt so special and like John was the father I never met.
The first time anything happened was when I was 9, almost 10, we were running late to go out somewhere I can’t remember and mom said that John and I were to take a shower together to speed things up a bit. We were in the shower and I was going about my business washing myself and I noticed Johns penis started to grow in size and become erect. He was trying to hide it but I already noticed and I was staring at it, I had never seen a grown mans penis before let alone an erect one. I said “wow! Yours is really big” Then I asked if I could touch it, he was a bit unsure but I grabbed hold of it and inspected it a bit. It was really hard and thick. He told me “that is enough” and took my hand away. I kept showering but still staring at it. Then he said “ah fuck it!” and he grabbed my hand and put it back on his penis and showed me how to move my hand back and forth. I paid attention and did as he said, it was really fun and new for me. He had his eyes closed and was rubbing his hand through my wet hair. I kept on doing it until he told me to stop. (I’m not sure if he came or not but I guess I wasn’t really looking for anything coming out.)
From then on we were having a full on sexual relationship. Mom would leave for work and we would go about our normal routine but when it came to bed time would get into bed together and he would take off all my clothes and lick me all over it tickled so much I would be laughing and giggling the whole time. He would give me oral sex then he showed me how to do it on him, or sometimes I would just use my hand and jack him up and down like in the shower the first time. I didn’t mind at all I actually quite liked it; he would always have a hand on me just stroking me gently. I never felt pressured at all and he never made me do anything I didn’t want to do. It was him who encouraged me to let him perform anal sex on me but I would set the pace and if I said stop he would immediately, I was in control of what he would do to me. John showed me just how to pleasure him and he would pleasure me too although I was too young to orgasm and shoot a load, but that made me always full of energy and ready to go wanting to play more. We would spend hours in bed not always doing sexual stuff but just rolling around holding each other and just joking around. He would run his hands all over my body and just give me lots of praise about how beautiful I was and how much he loved me and how special I was to him. I was in heaven and John was my most favorite person in the whole world, I loved him so much. Sometimes I would have my friends over but John wouldn’t even look twice at them, I was the only one for him and he would tell me every night in bed during our play.
We were so in love and I didn’t want it to end but I was 11 and a half when it all fell apart. We must have both fallen asleep in my bed after a night of play only for my mom to return home from work to find us both naked in my bed. I had never seen my mom freak out so bad before! She was shaking and screaming out really loud. She grabbed me up and put me in the car and took me to Grandma’s. I had to stay there for like 3 whole boring days until she came back to take me home. When I got home John and all his things were gone. Mom kept asking me what happened and I would always just reply “nothing”.
I was so upset that John was gone, my mom kept thinking it was because of what he did to me but the truth was I was all quiet because I missed him so much. We ended up moving house and changing our phone number, I used to cry in my bed at night at the fact that I would never see him again. And I never did…
I really missed John for a long time, I so wished he could have been there when I blew my very first load when I was 13! But I look back now and I cherish the times we had together. Most people would call John a predator or a pedophile but not me, I loved him and I know he loved me too. My mother and I don’t ever talk about John, it’s like it is in the past and forgotten but I can tell in her eyes it is not. Was it because of our relationship back then that I turned out gay today? I’m 19 now, maybe so? But people should know that not all adult / child relationships are bad. I had an experience that I don’t think I will ever have again at the hands of a person who I know truly loved, cared and adored me.
I don’t regret one thing…